These 4 days i spent my days at home recuperating. I am currently down with sore throat, dry cough. They escalated to be i think throat infection that in turns generates fever.
I had dry cough earlier this month, it was a mild and got it cure. Frankly speaking i think i did not take good care of it as i dragged on my intake of antibiotic towards the end of dosage. Seriously, cant be lazy or procrastinate when comes to medication.
Firstly, dry cough, maybe it is due to weather change and the approaching monsoon season. Dry cough was bearable at the start, slowly it emerges stronger, causing me to have a coughing marathon. I tend to hold my cough in public or else the people around me will think that i'm having bronchitis or something infectious. I have been eating pi par gao sweet, i finished 1 container and it doesnt show any improvements. But i think it sort of help to sooth the throat a little. Then here comes sore throat. Could feel the swelling of the sides of my throat, and it hurts a little everytime i swallow something. Every time i coughed, i could feel the friction caused by the cough, thinning the surface of the throat. A thought striked in that even if i cough out a abit of blood, it wouldnt be surprising. However, thankfully, no blood! :D
On Tuesday, wanted to see doctor, but thought maybe a day of rest, i would feel better (missing my accouting and last math lesson, ARGHH!). I overestimated my own healing power. So on Wednesday, i went back to my old house estate's clinic, the clinic that i have been going since young. The doctor issued 2 days of MC, stronger dosage of antibiotics, cough syrup and medicine to sooth the throat. I kinda regretted for not telling the doctor that i'm feeling feverish though at that point of time i had no fever. I learnt that when comes to health, it is ok to be a little kiasu! hahah! Because later that night, i developed fever.
I took my mum's paracetamol and slept. It helped to lower my fever by a little. However, with a fever, i missed my econs tutorial and econs lecture. OH NO....!! i wanted to resume to be a good student to study hard and planned to stay in sch to do revision. Off they have gone downnn the drain. My fever went up as high as 39.1, wanted to see doctor again, but my mum said since the doctor had given me a stronger antibiotic, finish the antibiotic then go and see the doctor. So another sleep in day at home.
I was hoping that i could recover by tomorrow (Friday) so i could meet my ex-colleague, Vivian, who is getting married at the end of this month, for pre-wedding preparation discussion. hahah! I am very honored that she asked me to be one of her sisters along with 2 other colleagues. I am so excited just thinking about it! hee! :)))))) Late afternoon, my fever still haven't subsided so i hadn't had a choice but to stay in and meet her another time. AWWWW! NVM! think on the bright side, meanwhile i can source for some wedding ideas for her. ;) my fever seems getting better, not hitting 39 anymore, my appetite is normal, unaffected, just avoiding heaty food or any food that is no good for the throat. As i thought things are getting better, at night, i dozed off, missing my intake by an hour, my fever shot up to 39.1 again, even after a cold shower (i was shivering). URGHHH! not againn......... i wet the towel put over my forehead and eyes, and neck, hoping it will absorb as much heat as possible, lowering my temperature. When it shot up the 39, i could feel the heat on my body. My hands are no longer reliable to estimate the temperature of my body because it is as heated up as well. I could feel the heat on my head travelling to my eyes. Now i get it on why people said if the fever is too high, it will blind your eyes. Off i went i sleep hoping the towel heat absorption helped and the medicine to take effect.
Another 2 more things that i'm looking forward to is mh's book out, and Serine's in house steamboat gathering on Saturday. OH NOO.....my fever is so persistent! Stilll running a fever, didn't get to pick mh up and didnt attend Serine's (cant see her cute daughters, nice house and enjoy the great company! :(( ), and didn't spend my day with mh. hai... but on the bright side, my fever was more controlled, it dropped as low as 36.8 in the afternoon, then crawled up a little like 37.8. Relatively good i would say!
During these few days of stay in sick days, i realised that when the body is ill, it is easier for negativity to take charge. Suddenly questioning the life that i have been living. It is the way of life that i wanted to live in? If not, what went wrong along the way? When you are sick, it feels that your soul and spiritually become weaker as well. It takes more effort to keep the optimism up. Being sick, people will yearn for care and concern from others. It will be just so comforting. But frankly speaking, who care whether you are sick anot, besides your family members? Who will be close enough to even notice that you are sick? Even if people knew, who will be even bothered to show the least bit of care and concern? Well, life still goes on. Just suck it up.
For those who showed care and concern, thank you people!
These days, negativity just come striking in, thought about family, friendship and relationship.
Family: nagging at the wrong time, saying wrong things at the wrong time. Hoping for a little help from sis, but i guess is just wishful thinking, if i'm sick and not doing it, then nobody is gonna do it. This thought just irritates me, like a time bomb. Being sick, i'm still doing household chores. Luckily i'm not that sickly till i do not have any strength.
Friendship: Thinking when times in need, where and who can i turn to? Everyone has their either own commitments and friends. It takes 2 hands to clap, maybe is partly my side too. Some things it's gone, and it is difficult to get it back no matter i much i want, it may not even get back too.
Is it self limitation or not putting enough effort?
Seeing a situation that shouldn't be still around is still here. Really really time to solve it.
I really want to be the carefree old me. Laugh, chat, hang out and doing the things that i want, not worrying about the perceptions of others. Maybe i think too much?
Alright, i will just focus whats ahead of me, get well, focus on studies.
I will just do my best and not do anything that i will regret.
FOCUS!!
Keep the Optimism UP!!
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