bit of here and there

Argh, this sickening new blogger thing, force me to use their layout. wth, my cbox and previous blogskin are gone. tian... gonna find a normal blogskin and edit my blog, cant stand the sight of this.

This holiday, after internship, i wanted to work, but didnt. Busy with sis departure preparation and unpacking of house. Though those boxes are sitting there, eyesore to me, but somehow my motivation isnt strong to unpack them all. haish. okok, sooon soon, i will clear all of them.

hmmm... currently not doing nothing. At home, perhaps enjoying this relaxing life. Hope my brain doesnt rust.

Few days ago, met up with my sec friend, apologised  and had a very belated bdae for her and chatted with her with whats bothering me for these 4 years. I want to move on, and i will. I'm certain.

These 4 years, i have been so silly, thinking that the friendship can be salvaged. But the so-called friends who you used to hang out with, when things happened, take flight for their safety, some cant be bothered. Ok, and also partly due to 'strong' influences. In fact, these made me very disappointed in these so-called close friends. Again and again, having hopes that maybe these friends arent just 'so-called' friends, but again and again, i was proven wrong and silly. I valued this friendship, but they probably have long ago clean forgotten about me. I should do the same too. Since this is between me and another person, other middle people, their ways of facing and handling such thing in such manner, i accept and respect that, just utterly disappointed in them. Being influenced, being afraid to offend someone with 'stronger' influence can cause them to not have the heart to think, not have the rationality in them. oh well, that is them. Despite of all the disappointment, i accept and respect their ways of facing it.

To the so-called used to be close friends, i will no longer have any, not a slightest bit of hope for you.
I wish you all the best in your separate paths.

To that person who caused this,  thank you for stirring this shit and let me have a clearer vision of the people around us. I dont know what you said or did. But ask your conscience, that's if you have one. Whatever that concens you is no business of mine.
But still, wish you the best.

4 years, enough. More than enough.

May i not be affected by this anymore. May i move on quick and swift.

Letting go.

-

These days without my sister around, let me realise how much of the joy and laughter are contributed by them.  Since they flew, i think the only time i laughed at home was when i was watching a comedy. urgh, laughing at screen... laughing with people is so so so much better. Auto flashbacks of my sisters in the house does occur but less frequent. Thats better too.

Things will change. Her side, as well as my side. Changing to more independent.

I'm thankful that i'm not the only child (:

GANBATTE!!!!!