Tattered

Not on the right track, in fact heading towards and deeper in to the wrong direction.

The drive, the fighting spirit, the faith, and hope in humanity and confidence of myself is fading. 

Fading at an alarmingly rate. I am fading.

I doesn't seem to have enough strength to draw within me to pull myself our this situation. Where can I get the strength from? 

I know I'm sinking further, heading to the wrong route, yet I keep walking on, I can't bring myself back on track. It's like suicidal.

I can't seek from others. The light that was once there, was not there anymore. And I shouldn't trouble people. 

What should I do?

Other aspects of my life are at stake too. I have the urge to let go of everything. Every single thing. 

I hate my current self. I'm losing myself. 

I became a coward that I hate, escaping realities and giving up. I chose the easy route. Who would I have thought I would become someone that I wont want to be?

I need to help myself. But how? I need strength, but where?

I need to build my armor. A sturdy one. 

Can a drowning person learn to swim to save his/herself?