May

The month of May.....

Let's see, this month was a not so smooth sailing month. Partly due to my bad habit. argh.... Suddenly feel like shouting for cynthia!! Wah...... miss her siah. haha! i think she is going laugh real hard if she knows this. haha!



Hmm..... Here's some understanding of the bad habit of mine.

Deep sleeper, often considered as 'dead' or 'deaf' when sleeping. Changed, replaced,added alot of countless clocks. argh, this year really felt the negative impact of my bad habit. I personally think is dumb of people if they use only this factor to judge one's character. Simply detest it when people use this factor to judge one's personality. Well.... i agree that this contributes and reflects on the character of oneself... BUT to a certain extent. Basically, i'm quite bad at expressing myself. Such 'obstacle' if you don't have such problem, you wont understand it.



I'm fine with people having the same habit as me. But sometimes i cant stand myself for continuing having this bad habit. feel like slapping and bashing myself up. ARGH! it's like tarnishing one's character by promoting irresponsibility etc, misunderstanding etc. Who would want to purposely be so crazy to skip important lessons and harm yourself? Who would want to purposely cause trouble to teacher, make them angry,making them to hate you and show you that kind of face they have? Adding extra nuisance trouble to yourself. Making yourself to have a bad start of the day, moody, feeling like a useless piece of shit. Sometimes may be wasting money on cab. and of course more and more reasons. Then people might ask, since you detest it, why dont you just improve and stop having this bad habit? well..... saying is easier then done. hai... if it's so easy, then i wont be so troubled by it.I hate it when this problem bothers the people around me, especially my family members who are trying to help. aww....... felt the guilt, felt like i'm implicating them, bringing troubles to them, disppointing the people around me. hai... sometimes even felt like a sinner, sometimes i feel like shit! hai..... due to this, i got a poor conduct for my last semester. haha! i certainly don't look like one with it right? haha. Luckily i'm not in other school,or else my friend is going to be so pissed with my bad habit. Well.... proberly this friend may not remember me now. haha.. Hmm... i got a little curious so i go check it out other 'crime' in school that can lead to poor conduct. And, i saw things sometimes like deficiency, play truant, and more.


Of course, i'll try my hardest to KICK OFF this bad habit. Looking forward to the day that i can official KICK it far away from me. haha! When that day comes, i shall open champagnes, release fireworks and lay red carpet! hhha!

hai...

GAMBATTE BAH!

If i cant solve it myself, no one can solve it for me. so, therefore, be independent!